10 cave jokes and memes to tickle your inner spelunker

Ready to laugh your rocks off? Join us for 10 rock-solid jokes and memes about caves and caving.



There's plenty more where that cave from – sorry, came from. Grab your flashlight and your hard hat – it's time to share some truly awful cave jokes and memes. Who knows? You just stalag-might enjoy them.

1. Bats in the cave

"So the frightened tourist asked, 'Are there any bats in this cave?' The guide said: 'There were – but don't worry, the snakes ate them all.'"

There are, indeed, many kinds of cave-dwelling snakes. Take the cave-dwelling rat snake, which Akron Zoo somewhat sinisterly describes as an "excellent climber". (Where's it climbing to?)

This snake can grow to six-and-a-half feet long and "will hang in the mouths of caves and catch bats out of the air as they fly by".

Rest assured, however, that Stump Cross Caverns is a snake-free experience. The only organisms crawling on their bellies are the local cavers.

2. Cave insurance

"I go caving with cave insurance," the joke goes, "so if there's a collapse, I'm fully covered."

Rest assured, we would never let anyone into a cave that was in danger of collapsing. The safety of our visitors is no joke!

3. Persistent potholers

A joker on Reddit posted the following:

"My friend begged me for weeks to go spelunking with him. I finally caved."

As rock-solid as that is, it was nothing but a setup for another user:

"I know the feeling. You tried to be like a rock. And then you crumbled."

Laugh? We nearly cried.

5. Caving tips #1

Question: "Why are caves so good at giving advice?"

Answer: "Because they always go deep into the matter!"

It's not an advice-giving cave per se, but in Greek mythology, the Oracle of Delphi delivered prophecies from a cavern beneath the slopes of Mount Parnassus.

She gave advice to lawmakers, kings and generals on warfare. She told farmers when they should plant their seedlings. And, perhaps most famously, she told Oedipus he would murder his father and marry his mother.

6. Caving tips #2

Stalactites are a staple of naturally occurring caves – those stone icicles hanging down from the cave roof. They take thousands of years to form as groundwater seeps through the ground and leaves calcium deposits.

But what might a stalactite say if you asked it for advice? "Just hang in there!"

Well, if it's worked for the stalactite, perhaps it will work for us…

7. Calvin and Hobbes go spelunking

Every day from November 18, 1985, to December 31, 1995, the daily comic strip Calvin and Hobbes delighted readers across the world. And in one strip, six-year-old rascal Calvin and his tiger friend Hobbes discuss the finer points of spelunking.

"Spelunking" is just one of many words used to describe the exploration of underground caves. Scientists go on speleological expeditions. Explorers go caving, potholing or spelunking, depending on who you ask.

The word "spelunk" comes from the Old French word spelonque, meaning "cave" or "cavern". Today, it can be used as a verb ("Calvin and Hobbes went spelunking") or as a noun ("Spelunkers know how to pass the time").

But as the Calvin and Hobbes strip jokes, the word "spelunk" also has a pleasingly onomatopoeic quality. This has led to the folk etymology that "spelunk" refers to the sound of a fairweather caver falling into an underground stream.

One thing's for sure: spelunkers will hear plenty of splashes and spelunks on their adventures. It's all part of the fun!

8. Subterranean refreshments

Now for a couple of gags about beverages. First: what's a spelunker's favourite kind of fizzy drink? Answer: lemon and limestone.

We're sorry.

Next: how do troglodytes drink? Through soda straws, of course!

(For those not taking notes, a soda straw is a type of rock formation.)

What refreshment would you take down into the caves? When Geoff Workman spent 105 days in Stump Cross Caverns, he celebrated his record-breaking achievement with mashed potato, mushroom soup and strawberry jelly.

You could say this temporary troglodyte had a troglobite to eat. Again, we're sorry.

9. How many cavers does it take to change a light bulb?

Every subculture, group and gang has its own in-jokes. Why would cavers be any different?

Over on the UK Caving message board, one user asks: How many cavers does it take to change a light bulb?

The answer: "Two, one (called 'Pete') to point a lamp in the opposite direction, leaving the other one to change it in the pitch dark, drop the bulb, swear, and spend the next hour feeling his way out of the cave."

One can only speculate about this Pete character and what he did to upset our forum user. It's likely, however, that tensions can run high when cavers find themselves quite literally in a tight squeeze.

10. Occupational hazards

Cavers love to cave. But even they know it can appear to people above ground as, well, a little eccentric.

Take this meme. There must be moments in every caver's career when they ask themselves the same question!

Another vein of iron – sorry, humour… Let's start again. Another source of limestone – we mean humour. Sorry, we've got caves on the mind. The fact of the magma is that caving can appear dangerous to an untrained eye.

This has led to this variation on the classic meme: "Let's go caving, they said. It will be fun – they said…"

We love a good laugh here at Stump Cross Caverns. But we're serious about educating the next generation of geologists and explorers. Know a little rock fan who loves to learn? Discover our fun and educational cave activities.